Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I have spoken very philosophically with my grandfather (age 56) today and I can't help but bring up past memories.
Regrets...
Mistakes....
Deeds.....
It's overwhelming when I think of it. I though for the first time, the future of my siblings and cousins AS WELL AS those ******** up people who have done me wrong..... I grief those lost as if cut deep with a knife.... and even more-so than the ones who still walk on earth in pain and misery. Their wrongs have deepened my depression, but taught me it was not a cry for help, or a plead for attention as adults who believe an intelligent teenager is gullible would say, but rather a deeper way to tell their story. That, my friend, is what bullies and punks or even lovers who were lost perceive a story told is. And for once, I concur.
They have never affected me as physically or emotionally as they do now. I cry for days, feel close to vomiting from hurt and unnatural sickness. Because of them, I feel that without strict love and the telling of philosophy, would ANY child grow up to be well. Those bullies and punks are the newer generation who were neglected not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Without someone's help who speaks of what I know, they will turn the same. Deeply hurt people who tell their painful stories and memories through put-downs and fist-fights, because they know no other way. Tell someone my story, don't even mention my name if only spoken, and make them feel as I do. However, do not make them grieve for those who are lost, either literally or figuratively. Then all you would do is make another hurt person. Heed my warning, my sweet friends and even acquainted people. These deep feelings are what we mere fragile beings feel are not natural, but maybe... in a way.... above natural. Supernatural. Not in term of ghosts, nor astral beings, but in a way only the intelligent would perceive.