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My journal would, if it were a physical item, be covered in a thick layer of dust. I haven't posted or read any of my entries for so long. And before that I think my entries had gotten far and few inbetween....

And that has been a reflection of my mood. I have been so miserable and fed up, and at such a cruicial time too stressed
Through the winter, through the university application process and through the winter exams I just. Did. Nothing.
So I didn't apply to uni and I didn't do as well as I should have done in my exams. I actually got an A in bio, which I was pleasantly surprised with, but got Cs in chemistry and maths. I was expecting worse, I warned ellie not to feel awkward when she got three As and I was there with Ds and Es.

At easter we went to lanzarote. "We" means everyone but dad, so it was quite stressful and tiring, but still nice to be by the sea in the warm weather. I also started seeing a psychiatrist and started on sertraline in the spring which I am feeling the benefits of now, but it came a bit too late for the summer exams which I also think I've done badly in. They felt worse than the winter ones, ughhhh -_-

So now I'm waiting for results day. 18th August.
I really don't know what I'm going to get. It's very unlikely that I'll go to uni next year. I don't know if I'll have to resit exams or redo the year alltogether. It would be much nicer to do fun gap year stuff....
or maybe I won't go to uni for a few years, and I'll just get a job and save up money and...be lonely with no friends crying

Siiiiigh. I'm going to leeds fest with charlotte and her friends though, that's something to look forwards to. Hmm.
Maybe I'll get into rambling about my daily life again.
Oh yes! I almost forgot, I've started running. Dr can get off my back now. I learned to knit too, I knit strange long things which...well, would best be used as scarves.
Anyway, over and out.