Gave Claire away today.
We had to give her away because Asai was deathly allergic to her. I wish I was exaggerating but the middle of the night emergency room visit does not lie. Overall I am torn between feeling horrible because I painted him in this corner (I was miserable and basically forced him to take me to the shelter to see the kitties) and guilty because I feel like I let them both down.
But the good news is that she was taken in by a lady who will take good care of her and her home has a small dog that Asai and I hope will become Claire's little buddy (which means she will never alone, a thought that always ate at me when Asai and I had to go to work; especially when it stormed because she was afraid of storms). Asai works with the lady and she had to leave her favorite kitty behind when she moved so Claire was a blessing to her. I met her and she was very nice. I admit to being envious of her but in the end as long as everyone is okay and Claire is happy then I can be happy, too.
That part is nice and has been what I latched onto: Claire has a new, nice home with people who will love and treasure her and a nice person who lost their kitty now has a new addition to brighten that hurt place that is left when you lose your own.
And, just because I am afraid he will read this and feel bad: I love you, Asai. It worked out well for all of us; I am afraid that I may have made you feel bad at times because I know I was not easy to deal with. That was only because I kept thinking of Candle and I got a little whiny about the whole thing because Claire helped take my mind off of Candle being gone. I know this is all happening the way it should happen and I like to think that thanks to us Claire will have a good, long life with a family that will love her as we loved Candle; she is out of the animal shelter and in someone's lap, right where all kitties belong.
I do get a little down when I think of certain things but I am trying to come to as much peace with it all as is possible. She is still our girl, even if she is with someone else. heart
I won't stay down for long; as I have said over and over I can focus on all the things that are gone and all the things I have never had in the first place and make myself perfectly miserable. Instead I am going to focus on all the good things and just be glad that things worked out as well as they did. It can always be worse- and it will always get better.
We had to give her away because Asai was deathly allergic to her. I wish I was exaggerating but the middle of the night emergency room visit does not lie. Overall I am torn between feeling horrible because I painted him in this corner (I was miserable and basically forced him to take me to the shelter to see the kitties) and guilty because I feel like I let them both down.
But the good news is that she was taken in by a lady who will take good care of her and her home has a small dog that Asai and I hope will become Claire's little buddy (which means she will never alone, a thought that always ate at me when Asai and I had to go to work; especially when it stormed because she was afraid of storms). Asai works with the lady and she had to leave her favorite kitty behind when she moved so Claire was a blessing to her. I met her and she was very nice. I admit to being envious of her but in the end as long as everyone is okay and Claire is happy then I can be happy, too.
That part is nice and has been what I latched onto: Claire has a new, nice home with people who will love and treasure her and a nice person who lost their kitty now has a new addition to brighten that hurt place that is left when you lose your own.
And, just because I am afraid he will read this and feel bad: I love you, Asai. It worked out well for all of us; I am afraid that I may have made you feel bad at times because I know I was not easy to deal with. That was only because I kept thinking of Candle and I got a little whiny about the whole thing because Claire helped take my mind off of Candle being gone. I know this is all happening the way it should happen and I like to think that thanks to us Claire will have a good, long life with a family that will love her as we loved Candle; she is out of the animal shelter and in someone's lap, right where all kitties belong.
I do get a little down when I think of certain things but I am trying to come to as much peace with it all as is possible. She is still our girl, even if she is with someone else. heart
I won't stay down for long; as I have said over and over I can focus on all the things that are gone and all the things I have never had in the first place and make myself perfectly miserable. Instead I am going to focus on all the good things and just be glad that things worked out as well as they did. It can always be worse- and it will always get better.
