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Butterz's Journal
A smorgasbord of my thoughts. Most entries will probably be in the form of poetry.
Freedom: It really is domination!
I just returned from my trip to Tijuana, Mexico this morning. Aside from being sleep-deprived, slightly sick, and just tired after the fact, I feel that this trip was definitely the best out of the three house-building trips I have been a part of in Tijuana, Mexico.

I was part of such an amazing site group, both hilarious and hardworking. I am so proud of all that we accomplished and the home (not just a house) that we provided for Gustavo and his family. I truly wish him the best in his new home and in his endeavors to become a doctor.

On Monday night, I spoke in front of our whole group, over a hundred people, and told my story. I was strangely calm earlier in the day. I had an idea of what I was going to talk about, and I really felt at peace. As the time when I would speak grew closer, I started feeling more nervous and scared. My good friend and pastor was also speaking that night. Just before I went up, he pulled me aside and asked me how I was feeling. I said, outright, that I was nervous and scared. He told me of the first time he spoke in front of a large group of people and consoled my fears. He went on to say that if I was scared or nervous or whatever, I should simply be honest and say so. I should just name my fears. That would give them less power. And so I did. I told everyone that I was scared, and as I went on to tell my story, that fear melted away. I find it funny that I wrote out a bunch of notes regarding what I would say but didn't use them. I simply didn't feel the need.

My friends gathered around me after I told my story, affirming me and telling me how much they had truly loved listening to what I had to say. I felt that sense of peace again and, along with it, a sense of wholeness. It felt so good to have things out in the open. I guess it's true, "secrets lose their power when they have no place to hide".


Butterzworth
Community Member
  • [12/25/11 08:13pm]
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