March 22, 2006
Last night Kaz had a message that said to call him around noon and I asked him what that was for, he said because he needed something to wake him up. I was kind of upset because whenever I call him he gets mad so I asked him if I could and he said I could. The only problem is I have class then but when I got home he was still sleeping, and I could tell he was gonna be late so I called a few times but he didn't wake up, he finally woke up five minutes before his class so I guess it didn't really help. He didn't bother going and instead we ended up in this conversation, online since he didn't wake up when I called... Which I didn't really feel like discussing now... I guess it's something I've needed to talk to him about but I'd rather not do so this soon, I need time to think about it and stuff, and I worry about how he'll react one way or the other... I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I don't want him to not come here over it either. The problem is, I act one way on the net but it's not necessarily how I feel in real life. It is somewhat, but I'm just not ready. I guess I just act to perverted online. It's all in fun though. I don't really know what to do about this, I mean I made a decision which I hope will be good enough, a compromise, but I'm just not ready to discuss it with him yet. I'm scared he'll say forget it. I don't know. My biggest fear is that none of our plans will go through if not because of one thing then because of another.
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