Big Boy
____Get up, Kit. Fight back, Kit. You’re so weak. I’m tired. I’m tired of them all. They just can’t leave me alone, can they? I just want to go home. I’m sitting in class with the palm of my hand covering my black eye, regretting that I did not request to move my seat to the back of the class sooner. I touch the back of my head. There’s so many spit wads in my hair. That is so elementary, guys.
____The bell rings, and I’m home free. That is until those jerks block my path in the halls again. “Move,” I commanded. The leader, looking tough and prideful, steps forward and grabs me by the shirt. He looks at me from head to toe. He snickers to his posse behind him.
____“I’m pretty beat guys. Practice has made me an eensy bit irritable. Perhaps I’ll take it out on him again.” The others chuckle and watch as I take a punch to the gut and fall dramatically on my knees on the cold floor. I have never bothered this jock at all. “Get up, Kit.” He continues to throw me around, practically destroying my vital organs. I hear people whispering, laughing, and the clicks of cameras capturing my moments of humiliation. This routine is getting old. I hear a voice over the intercom demanding that the brute and his gang be sent to the principal’s office. So they left, giving me a couple kicks on the shin as they passed by me. I’m a big boy. I don’t bother with the likes of them. After gathering my belongings off the floor, I brush myself off, and head home.
____My mother and half-brother examine me closely. Both shook their heads in sync. “You’re such a wimp.” I hated my half-brother, the curse of my mother’s sin. Never has he possessed any encouragement to give me. Mother hit him on the back of his head with a dish towel spotted with my blood as a warning. “Gross! I don’t want his blood in my hair!”
____“Just wash your hair later, idiot,” I told him rudely. He sneered at me. We never got along well. We would only acknowledge each other’s presence at most. My mother took a seat beside me on the couch. I didn’t look at her as she pet my hair.
____“Honey, go ahead and wash up. We’re going to wait for you, and we’ll have dinner as a family.” Even though I held a bit of resentment towards my mother, she did her best to care for me. I respect her for that. She smiled at me then briskly walked into the kitchen to set up. My brother only said, “Fight back, Kit.”
“You know I don’t believe in using violence as a way of settling disputes,” I quietly replied. His expression told the world that he was embarrassed to be related to someone like me. He left and hid in the privacy of his room. I retreat into the safety of my room as well. I reach for the first aid kit on the shelf by my window, and take out a small bottle of pain killers. If my mother knew about these, she’d confiscate them. I’m a big boy. I know what I need to suppress the pain. I counted out two pills, and swallowed them.
____The next day I set an appointment to meet with my counselor right after the bell to dismiss us home about my life after high school. If I was lucky enough I wouldn’t encounter those awful jerks, but unfortunately Lady Luck wasn’t on my side. I was stopped before the corner to turn into the counselor’s office. He had me by the shirt again. Sighing, I told him, “This is my favorite shirt.”
____“All the more reason to tear it apart,” he replied with a sly smile. He tugs on my shirt some more forcefully, eventually ripping the seam of my shirt sleeve. I thought carefully of how to slide my way out of this one. “You’re so weak.” I got an idea. I strongly kicked the wall that separated the office and me. I felt a kick to my shin, as if he tried to play soccer with my leg. I don’t think I groaned or made any sound, but I did hear the door click open followed by the clacks of high heels advancing closer and closer. Took her long enough to come get me. But seriously how pathetic am I that I resort to an adult’s help? I’m a big boy. I can figure it out.
____Inside the counselor’s office, she looks at me with her bright green eyes that seem enlarged by the lens of her glasses. It was almost creepy. She wiped her forehead with a cloth, sighed, and folded her hands together on the desk. “Are you alright?” she asks. It was the obligatory question everyone asked after something had happened to you. I just nod yes. She straightened up in her chair. “Ok. Well, do you have an idea of what you want to do after graduation?” she opened up a file cabinet behind her and pulled out a thin folder with my name labeled on it. She takes out a half completed survey we took the beginning of the school year. I don’t understand why she’s just now talking to me about it this late in the year. “You’ve only answered,” she studies the paper, “half of the questions. The ones you didn’t answer were about your future.”
____“And?”
____“I just want to help you establish a plan for after high school.” I could’ve sworn I sensed a bit of concern in her voice. But as a counselor, it’s her job to make students feel important. I nod in agreement with her. “What interests you?”
____I gave an immediate answer. “Human behavior.” There was an awkward pause.
____“Is that because of-“
____“No.” Another pause. Suddenly the atmosphere between us was tense. “I would like to dismiss myself now, if you don’t mind.” I smile. She lightly shoos me away until I have closed the door behind me. The hall was empty, and the squeak of my sneakers were loud and echo-y. I opened the wide double doors, and sunlight shone through. I inhaled deeply and returned home once again.
____I was greeted by a squeal and someone’s body suddenly thrown at mine to hug me. It was warm and affectionate. By the smell of their shampoo I knew it was my mom. She put her hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said, “Congratulations!” I blinked twice.
____“What did I do?” My head tiled the way a dog’s would. I saw my brother sitting at the bottom of the staircase. He was actually smiling at me. “Is he finally moving out?” I asked half sarcastically. Mom looked liked she was about to cry, but from sheer joy.
____“You’re valedictorian! We got a letter from the school today! Oh, you’re my big valedictorian boy!” Gosh. Her voice was so high pitched. But her being this excited about me accomplishing something I wasn’t aware of made me feel happy too. And I never thought I’d live long enough to get a hug from my jerk of a brother. I had almost forgotten what a gentle touch was like. Mom’s hug was a bit suffocating. I hugged him back. It wasn’t a quick man hug, or an affectionate hug close friends give each other when they haven’t seen each other for years and years. Mom then invited herself into our brotherly hug.
____We kind of tumbled over to the living room in this little huddle, and I broke apart when I tripped over an abandoned laundry basket, and hit my shin on the small table next to it. I caught myself to prevent meeting the floor with my face. I forced a smile. “I’m a big boy. I’m fine!” I assured them though clearly I was rubbing my shin. It was throbbing painfully, but I tried to ignore it. The pain wouldn’t have been as great if I wasn’t kick so hard earlier. They laughed a bit. This made me feel uneasy. “I’m going to my room to work on homework. It’s my duty as valedictorian to keep up my hard earned GPA.” I saluted the two, especially my brother. Somehow I felt just a tiny bit more comfortable around him.
____I observe the contents of my room. Neatly made bed. Clothes neatly put away. Neatly kept desk. How could someone work when there’s a mess waiting to be cleaned up? I don’t know. Putting that thought aside I pull up my chair, take out my textbooks and stationary, and get down to business. After about half an hour or work—or what felt like half an hour—I turned on my computer to research some junk about global warming for my paper. But instead enter the social networking site my classmate in psychology told me about. It was that odd enough that he was able to persuade me into making my own account. I added some friends, but they were more like acquaintances.
____It appears that one of them has put of photos a couple days ago of some student getting roughed up. He’s on the ground holding his stomach. The one roughing him up had a proud smile. Other people are watching and pointing at the poor chap. Wait a moment. He looks… he looks just like me. It is me! Why would a person do such a thing for all the universe to see? I never bothered anyone. Maybe I bothered the teachers for upstaging their teaching methods, but other than that there is no valid reason that anyone should ever carry out an action such as this. I immediately close the browser, turn off the computer, and work on another assignment. No one really cares about global warming anyway.
____Their eyes are like hawks, watching every step I make. All the negative attention was on me. They point and snicker just like in the photos. Words like “It’s the wimp!” and “How embarrassing!” and other obnoxious things fill the air. I have to ignore them. I’m now valedictorian. A somebody! I stop by my locker to put away some books, and the gossiping grows heavy and intense. My Spidey sense is tingling. Without showing signs of neither hesitation nor fear, I looked at the beast and his other stupid goons. His ego was large enough to make him the most idiotic Goliath in history. He’s seen the photo—I know it—because he’s waving it right in my face. The quality was terrible and pixel-y, but that’s me all right. If there were ever a time I let myself succumb to my emotions and feel the need for revenge, now would be it.
____“I never really knew how fun this looked.” I glance at the photo. “No matter how many times I look at it, I’m still amused!” I’m beginning to think he is a sadist. If he was trying to provoke me, he was doing a good job. “Look at yourself!” I don’t this time.
____I resisted the temptation of merely curling my fist. People were watching us. “Is this how you treat the valedictorian?” He gives an over exaggerated look of surprise, and repeats what I had just said in the most annoying voice you can ever think of.
____“Well it looks like it’s brawn over brains for you.” I pondered this statement before making my move. I couldn’t run. The silent crowd had closed me in. I shouldn’t run. That would only make me look worse. I’ve had enough. I made a decision.
____I’m a big boy. I’m tough. Though I have never thrown around my fist, I was successful in punching him square in the face. Gasps, ooh’s, and oh my gosh’s refilled the silent air as they watched not me, but him falling for a change. I couldn’t help but feel B.A.
