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Days….Weeks….has gone by and I haven’t change myself since it has begun. I cant forgive myself for the way I ruin everything including my happiness. When I think about it, I couldn’t hold myself but cry under the rain. Why did I do it? Is the way to start our separate ways?

No…I don’t want to go alone with my own journey.

I cant take it anymore. I miss him so much and I don’t know what to do anymore. You refuse my chance. You thrown our happy memories quickly. I didn’t realize you would be happy….without me. I feel like I move on and forgotten everything….but I couldn’t. My heart is deep blue. My life is faded….ruined…gone…. I never smile completely when it started. I’ve use my fake smile on you not my pure smile I wished for to last forever.

I wanted that person who I love truly to be smile and love when our love grew longer and stronger. It makes me happy to see him smile.

What happened to our love you ask?

Its gone….all gone… I was the one who ruin it. He wont forgive me. I wont forgive myself. I have gone all day with pain, sorrow, hopeless, and happyless.

Every time I listen sad music or when I’m alone with my ears closed, I think about you… about our smile…about our laughter. Dreams come true but doesn’t last forever. It will faded away right before your eyes.

I cried so much that I couldn’t breathe myself. I blame myself. I blame for what I did. I would rather be in my fantasy world where I could lay under the sunset….. under the cherry blossom tree, surrounded by grassy field with flowers where I could run around with it and the beach where I could see the view.

I dont want to loose someone i love. I dont want to feel loneliness...I want to feel loved and care by someone

I also want to lay on the ground with my eyes close, holding my white rose flowers and have a memory of him and you

I will remain pain, left with my good memories and hopefully someone will bring it back or try to make me happy again.