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Dear xXKuro OokamiXx,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a purple Xmas! I'm sure visions of ramen noodles-plums are already prancing in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your houses with boughs of heroin? Have you spiked the fruit cake with plenty of acid? Have you trip your underpants by the chimney with care? Did you leave out sundae and some wine for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours super,
xXharmaXx

Dear killerwolfX_X,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new Ipod you saw in Walmart-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left toe to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand illegal substance abuses to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Linsey Lohan, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Superman in the knee for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours Truly,
xXharmaXx

Dear iSolstices,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a purple Xmas! I'm sure visions of waffle-plums are already dashing in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your trees with boughs of heroin? Have you spiked the fruit cake with plenty of vodka? Have you scream your stocking by the chimney with care? Did you leave out jello and some martini for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours truly,
xXharmaXx

Dear XmuffinsfromouterspaceX,

Today we decorated our holiday fridge. I hung strings of neon pebbles all over it, and topped it with a rocks. It's hot! Plus it smells like a dirty socks, wafting holiday cheer throughout the house. Pretty soon I'm going to run some cookies to give to Beth. I've got a few special ingredients I want to include: some houses, stores and dark berries. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Yours sincerely,
xXharmaXx

Dear _KrAzYbYtCh_,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new lipstick you saw in Walmart-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left eye to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand illegal substance abuses to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Brittany Spears, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Superman in the toe for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours truly,
xXharmaXx