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Few weeks ago I met a guy on gaia.. We shared our e-mail adresses..
We started talking and before we knew it, we fell in love with each other's personalities.. He turns out to be the most wonderful guy, never met anyone so wonderful and sexy..
As we were talking we found out we live half way around the world from each other. And even though he's moving, it'll stay half way around the world..
We kept talking and fell more and more for each other.. Things became more and more complecated..

Down here is a shortcut version of what happened lately:
He caught a very nasty virus few days ago.. I'm worrying sick about him and there's totally nothing I can do to make him feel better.. Instead of me his best (girl) friend takes care of him when his parents aren't around.. Ofcourse that bugs me even more..
I got to talk to that girl last tuesday. We kind of got into a fight, because she "commanded" to forget him and that we would never be able to meet each other in real life.. I wasn't agreeing and I still don't agree.. She hurt me deeply and the fact that I can't talk to him about it hurts me even more..
I'm a desperate girl right now, one who can only cry and wait for her lover to get wel..

This is the last one of the letters I sent him:

Oh Allen,

since I talked to Jackie.. All I can do is cry.. I feel like she just took my heart away from you and tore it apart... It hurts so badly, my chest hurts, my head hurts.. The Pain is owerwelming.. I can't stop crying, notmatther where I am or who I'm with..
I want to talk to you and I want to dicuss this with you. I feel like Jackie dumped me for you, like she made the decision for you..
I'm also so worried about you and for some reason I feel it's my fault you're sick.. I hope you'll get well soon and that we can finally talk about all this and us.. That is all I want right now, I want to talk about us and together with you, together with you decide what we are going to do..
I love you, please get better :'( !

Julie

P.s. yours forever..

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