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I've known this guy for about three or four years now and i have THE Biggest crush on him. we did go out for a week last year but then he ignored me for a day and broke up with me... since then i've been mad at him for most of the year, then we started talking again... it turns out i still realllllly like him. Apparentley he likes me too. Right now you may be asking... so whats the problem then? well let me tell you. He is a manwhore. now people have been telling me this since i realized that i like him, but it just hit me really freaking hard today when i went to write on his wall for facebook and another girl wrote on it saying "blahblahblahwhatever <3" he replies with "i love you" and she says "i love you too"... nbd... until i thought about it. when i talk to him he makes me feel like the only girl in the world that matters. and he tells me that he loves me... but i got to thinking... how many other girls does he say that too? how many other girls feel like theyr the only ones that matter. by looking at how many people he gets with, im asuming a lot. The big puffy cloud i've been floating on that i've been using to hide the truth from myself (he told me he changed but he didnt) ******** disappeared and on i've been spiraling back down to earth with this horrid pounding in my head and a dizzy dead-butterfly feeling in my stomache.
Thats the problem.
im never going to have a boyfriend who cares about me. i feel like a tissue. Actually i know im a tissue. boys just use me for what they need and throw me away. i never dreamed about faireytale princes i always dreamed about boys who would actually give a s**t about my feelings but i know they dont exist.
and yet im still hanging out with him on saturday night. wish me luck. if he truely does love me he should prove me wrong, but i doubt he will because love is a myth and i sure as hell dont believe in it.