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Wind me up. I can laugh and I can cry but I cannot feel true emotion. I hide beneath a golden mask, created by some greater being, while fearing this world I live in. Day to day. Night to night. It’s almost like one day is the next. Only the sun and moon have changed places.
I sometimes stare up at the moon. I wonder many things; why my creator made me, what is the purpose of being here, why are there the sun and the moon, will I ever feel true emotion? I feel as if the moon will answer my aching questions but instead she sighs. I can hear the knowledgeable crow cry in the night. I sometime wish he could understand my useless words.
Breathing is one of the toughest things I can do. I’m never really sure if I am or not. Actually, I’m not sure if I do breathe. Everybody around me does so I figure that I should be breathing too. Often I will see acquaintances pass out or stop breathing and that’s how I can tell that it doesn’t apply to me. But how am I moving, how am I living? I’m not really sure of anything anymore…
It seamed like months ago that I was winded up. Every day seams to grow painfully slower. Nobody can answer my questions. It gets harder to fall asleep every winter night. I grow slower. My movements are dull and is lacking. I cannot feel anymore. I can’t see anymore. I feel like I am losing my self. The darkness is overcoming… I feel frozen in place…