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I don't know
but I can't tell you
And I want it
but I'm scared
You said

Last

Chance?

How do I know I'm not grasping at a
futile rope that has no
tether?
You want me to
show you initiative
How?
WHAT

DO

I

DO

FOR

YOU

...?

I want to hold a bit longer but am afraid
You may draw back without me
leaving me hanging like a
solo high-five, or hugging a mirror

How do I tell you
My secrets

or how much pain
or how much love
or how much anger
or how much worry

If I feel like something that someone is once again testing to see if they don't even know?

Will I be

inadequate
a liar
a fool
desperate?

Am I just a rebound...

Object?

For those you claimed to hate having not gone with before
around the corner
out of sight
out of mind
out of comfort
away from me?

I am
scared
nervous
jovial
loving
terrified
of you

It's
too fast
too soon
too much
for me to take in

I cried over him again last night
Keep saying it's the last time
The one who has my heart and won't give it back

You said last chance

Why did you sound unaffected?

Like I didn't matter

He was perfect
my image of security
of everything I loved and
thought loved me back

It's been a year
and he can't even know
what I mean.
Can't even feel
because he never apologized

He never loved me back

My rivers spent on him are dry
draught
you won't want me

He's gone, unable to be rechecked

Images of a happy life with him
GONE

AND NEITHER OF YOU UNDERSTAND

HOW SCARED I AM

HOW TERRIBLE IT FEELS

You don't want me anymore

You can't make me forget

Because you can't

And won't

Love me

They say teenage heartbreak isn't really breaking of the coronary vessel

They say it's hormones

But when you imagine a happy life with someone who doesn't care and you think they do

When they know you love them

And get your hopes up

Then let you down?

I just need him
To tell me he realizes
how I feel
and apologize

So many things wrong with me
So many
I can't handle you like this
because you will never know
no matter how many times I tell you

There's more that belongs here.

But it'll just be over a million words before I get my point across.