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When your born, you should be given a remote with buttons to change every little, stupid thing that happens to you.

I could really use a mute button right now... Lately, all the little side comments and sarcasim I blurt out, only seem to put me into ackward situations or make me look/sound like a fool.

Have you ever said something to someone and your point isn't heard? Then later, when you think back on that conversation the first thing that runs through your mind is, "I shouldn't have said that," or "Oh crap, that wasn't what I meant!" Yeah? Well, that's happened to me about ten thousand times in the last 7 days! Each time worst then the last.... I can't seem to get it in my head that, some people hear things differently then others.

Your probably thinking, "So what, big deal. It happens to the best of us, you're just going through a phase." DON'T EVEN GO THERE!!! A phase is like where you only eat foods that are pink and lasts maybe a few mouths! Me constantly saying things that insult people, HAS BEEN HAPPENING EVER SINCE I LEARNED MY MOUTH COULD MAKE NOISES!! (That's a long time, I assure you. God, I'm old...) And the only reason why I'm even bring in up now, is because I'm starting to be affected by it. It haunts my every thought.

Peacful dreams are turned to nightmares within a blink of an eye. I wake up three or four times at night because of what happens in my dreams due to events such as saying the wrong thing. I then feel tired all day and that affects everything I do and everyone I care about! I can't take good notes in class because my eyelids won't stay open long enough for me to write. I don't hear half the lecture because my brain tunes out sounds and shuts down. I begin to snap at people only trying to be friendly. I strive all day long to stay awake let alone the fifty trillion other things I have to do through in an average day. I then don't understand that days homework because I either didn't hear the instructions or my notes suck a**. And not only can I not think, but I don't eat because I'd rather sleep. Then, not only am I tired, I'm hungry, which makes me feel sick. So, don't tell me it's "No big deal," because it is too me!

The sad thing is... nobody can really help me fix this thing. It's an inner battle that I alone, must indure. Yeah sure, there and something's other people can help with, but not much. It's really only a bad habit. A REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD HABIT, that's hard to kick.

I would like to apologize to anybody who is reading this that I've insulted by my loud, uncontrolable mouth. And congratulate you for reading that whole thing, (that doesn't counting skimming through it...). You people won't believe how much writing these stupid little rants helps me. It keeps me from destorying you all! ^^

*kills all typos* There you happy now?