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Deltas Journal
A random collection of my thoughts
Just another day
So that happiness from yesterday is gone now. I was told my dad was locked up a few days ago but that was just a false alarm. Now today I'm told he's locked up again. He's not in the county jail roster though.

Grandpa's getting on my case again. I went to take out the garbage, but I skipped the bathroom garbage. The big garbage bag I got from his room was already 1/4 full then the kitchen garbages and living room garbage filled the bag completely. There was no more room so I take it out as it is. When I get back he is all butt hurt about how I always do only a half assed job and how he knows he can't rely on me for anything.

I'm tired of his seemingly constant degradation. He talks about someone else and he almost always talks badly of them. Grandma is the only one he never complains about. He talks about Linda and he just keeps talking about how she is an unfit mom. She talks about Anna and how she should have just listened to him. He talks about CJ and how she is too stubborn, selfish, and can't be relied on for anything even though she does almost all the work around the house. He talks about our 11 year old neighbor who happens to be developing early and he talks about how she is going to just be a slut like Anna. Those weren't his exact words, but when he says she is going to be a "march hare" I don't think he means she will be a rabbit. Wednesday we took care of something that should have been taken care of years ago. Rather than saying something positive about how we're getting things on track all he can say is that we should have done this years ago. stare

I get to the point to where I just stop listening to him. He doesn't say anything worth saying anymore. It's all the same bullshit about how everybody sucks, how horrible this world is, how this country is so horrible, how the other countries are worse and we are still the best. He gives me a laundry list of reasons like isn't worth living then he goes and says he hopes I can find a good woman and start a family.

I don't want to raise a family. I don't want to get married and raise some obnoxious kids. Actually I just want to put a bullet in my brain. That's all I want.





 
 
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