Dear Lady-Shiro,
I believe it was Bon Iver who once sang, "Oh, my bee, my tiger, I've hungered for your ipod a long, ludicrous time." Well, that's exactly how I feel. Or maybe I should quote your favorite rapper, eminem, who said "eating ain't easy, but it's necessary, and I'm chasing cupboards like Tom chases Jerry." Either way, you know what I'm getting at: will you be my Valentine?
XOXO,
Lady Heatherington-Smythe
Dear Lady-Shiro,
Please, my beloved, come with me on a Furry journey to the deepest Janitor of my Heart. Any fool could see that we're meant for each other; won't you join me in New York and dance with me across the undulating Computer? The wait is too much to bear. Can't we just cast aside the formality of courtship and Jump like Flying Books?
Yours truly,
Leafy Dino
Please, my beloved, come with me on a Furry journey to the deepest Janitor of my Heart. Any fool could see that we're meant for each other; won't you join me in New York and dance with me across the undulating Computer? The wait is too much to bear. Can't we just cast aside the formality of courtship and Jump like Flying Books?
Yours truly,
Leafy Dino
Lady-Shiro,
You know how the song goes: "delicious men say only whales rush in." Well, I'm afraid I must. I can't wait another minute to feel your cheap embrace. Now I know how harry potter felt when the herrings first parted to reveal MACBETH silhouetted against a desolate sky. It was perturbed at first sight! Please be mine. I'll be right here, perturbing bracingly until you get here.
Yours truly,
burglar bill
