So I awoke, to the smell of smoke
Drums beating in my head
Trekka, Trekka, Trekka
Primal voices softly chanted
Trekka, Trekka, Trekka
Trekka, a name for I this being of no identity
it is who I will be
Feel the beat, open my eyes
Blinding light burns them
An angel sits before me
Clad in white with golden hair
She slouches in her seat
Smoke drips out from her pale lips
I sit up and touch her ice white skin
'Angel?' I ask, this only makes her laugh
She shakes her head and speaks
'Erica' she looks at me as if I should know this
I look to the sky, a purple haze birds fly by
I am amazed, she is unmoved
We travel, disturbing scenes of screams and gore
We talk, I see things that are never there
I tell her I want one day as a normal person
Deep down I can tell I'm different
My angel is normal, lovely and serene
I see one last thing as the world fades to black
I see her face smiling at me
Saying it will be alright
Soft kiss on the cheek, bloody taste in mouth
Pain, fading...fading...
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This remarkable sometimes incoherent transcript illustrates a phantasmagoria of fear, terror, grief, exaltation and finally breakdown...On voyage 34 I finally met myself coming down an up-staircase, and the encounter was crushing...