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Today I didn't have to go to school since I guess my mom was worried about me and decided to schedule a doctors appointment for me instead.
I don't know why though, it seemed kinda normal..'cept well I was kind of breaking down slightly again...Not as bad as last time though...
So while I was at the doctor I told him about my chest pains and all that, then for some reason they had to hook me up to some weird machine thing with a bunch of sticky things and cords and I had to lay down and they checked my heart and stuff I guess. My heart was fine so personally I think it was a complete waste of time : /
I couldn't stop shaking most of the day though...The feeling just wouldn't go away, I couldn't relax so they had to keep doing the test thing until I did but I never would...It felt so strange..On top of that my body temperature is apparently a little higher than normal..
Well anyways, I got more mail from her today after i got back from all that, and I feel a little better now having heard those things from her...I feel like I've stabilized again..Thankfully..
Then later I got to talk to her in emails for a bit and she told me she MIGHT be able to see me this weekend...I really hope I don't get let down again...and she might be put in partial care next week so we can talk again so yea...Let's hope this is it...
But do I dare look up..? Do I dare show this hopeful heart again, at the risk of being crushed yet again..?
Please...Please let this be it...Please God...
I need her...
I really hope this can happen this time....
I'm looking forward to it...
I love you Christina...<3
<3Forever and ever...<3
 II Xero II · Thu Jan 07, 2010 @ 05:58am · 0 Comments |
