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Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you


I'm really excited about labour.
No. I'm not a masochist... Actually. Nevermind, I guess I am.
Not because I'll have my gorgeous little boy but for the experience smile
2nd of Marrrrch. 8lbs 2oz. Note it.
Remember that dream? Did I mention it here? Let me look..No..
Well in short - I made other people aware of it.
I broke up with him. I was pregnant. Lots of s**t happened. We stopped talking. Feb I told him I wanted to be with him. March 2nd he was with me while our child was born.

Uhhhhh. I'm not gonna hide it. I read his journal. It emails me after all.
How silly of him, he wants me to tell him if I love him or no, but I'm not allowed to talk to him.

Also, I threatened to kill his mum? Yeah. I said. "Arghh. I could kill her for how she treats you and how she spoke to me"
She is a complete b***h to him, he does everything wrong but his brother can do nothing wrong?
She uncalled for screamed abuse at me blaming me for him being wasted one of the times, calling me a control freak - So, she wanted her son to self harm? Be on drugs? Smoke? Drink excessively? Fair enough. That is very kind and loving.

I threatened to hurt his nan? No. I said, it'd hurt her if I told her about him hitting me, desserting his kid etc.
He KNOWS I love his nan to bits, and I miss sitting in her dining room with a coffee teasing him with her.
Or the smiles and giggles his Aunt made when we got there on a weekend.

I wrongfully put him in a box? I presume prison?
He emailed me a photo with a gun - BB gun but I didnt know that - to his head.
Saying if I didnt answer he'd pull the trigger. He's harrassed me for months?
I understand it was for attention etc. But still. If anything it did him good, made him grow up.

I have questions I couldn't answer, mums trying to help me;-

Do I love him? Yes.
Could I be with him? Unsure. Alot has been said and done, then there is his family
Birth Cert yes or no? No.
Do I think he'd hurt my baby? Unsure.
Would I talk to him in mediation. Yes. But I don't know what to say
What about access? Yes, but supervised only.