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I don't know what to do anymore...

Well, Christina's in rehab, and there's really nothing more I can do about it...I wish I could've helped her, I wish I could've done something...god I wish I could've...I would've given my own life for it if I had to...but there's nothing I can do now...She's gone...She won't be back for some time now, and now I'm completely lost...

I don't know what to do now without her around...I'm scared, alone, and angry...
I need her...
She is my sanity, my heart, my entire world...

I'm just a darkened mess without her...

I don't even know what my birthday is gonna be like now...So far it sucks completely...I got nothing I wanted, I don't get a Christmas so this was my only chance, and I pretty much blew it...I don't even get to spend Christmas break with Christina now, so what am I going to do now...?
I guess I'll just sit here and rot, seems like that's all I'm good for nowadays...

-sigh- I knew my holiday season was gonna suck, but I never expected it to be this terrible...
I hate this...I ******** hate this...

I am nothing without her....