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If I could change one thing about myself? I would make it so everyone could see what I'm really like. I can't even come to describe half of the ********, twisted, dark, grotesque s**t that goes through my head. It's all I can do to not just...drive a knife through the palm of my hand to divert all my thought to the ******** pain. Why do you think I used to cut my wrists?

Cutting your wrists...now there's a lost art. I remember I did it PERFECTLY. I didn't do it in a bunch of little horizontal lines that made it look hella obvious when they scarred or in a vertical line so I almost died. Just one or two, but deep, enough to bleed but not enough to bleed out. And I did it just right so now there aren't even any scars. I'm a ******** self-mutilating GENIUS and you ******** know it.

I wish I had the courage to just run away and start over. When people do that, they say they're just bailing. ******** that. Do you know how much courage it takes to just start your life over? I've had to ******** do it and it SUCKS. I wish I could move anywhere and get away from this ******** place.

Last night I had a dream that I was back in elementary school and I actually told my tormentors exactly what they were doing to me and they left me alone and I grew up happy.

If I ever see any of them again, I'm going to ******** kill them. Because I need to pin this unhappiness on someone else because it's hurting too much.

How the ******** am I supposed to pretend to be happy when the only emotion I ever truly feel is self-hatred and hurt?

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into the eyes of your tormentors...BURN, ********, BURN!

hahahaha I'm hilarious and you know it. wink

God, it feels so good to show my true colors.

I need to stop ******** whining.