((Well....I've just realized I'm heavily influenced by Vinge's work, The Snow Queen and The Summer Queen...
Ah well. Maybe I do feel like that at times.....hm.
In any case, here's the next chapter while I still have internet connection at school...))
~ Petals of a Rose: Memory of Sins ~
..............
He should've known. Should've known the outcome was brought to light in this type of format, this type of result.
Snow felt like a child again that wanted to cry, the pain upmost unbearable within his chest. Why wouldn't things go the way he wants? Why should it always be him that is left behind...?
Why? Why and why....
He looked up to the cloudy skies, feeling a drizzle of rain pouring down from the heavens above. The festival was nearly done now, and everyone was moving to their own secluded homes, to their mates and loves...
While he stood there at the center of the square, oblivious to the space separating himself away from all the rest.
Alicia was nowhere to be seen, already off with someone else.
Her voice lingered in his thoughts, in his mind as he let the rain hide the pain flowing from his chest.
Her voice...
The realization....
..............
"Snow...do you like me?" Alicia said during the dance. It was very sudden, very forward that Snow didn't even know what to say or do, but to stare at her speechless, a blush on his cheeks.
For a while, he didn't say anything. It was only for a few months that they had been meeting in private, sharing thoughts and ideas with each other, like friends...or, more than that to an extent...but not enough to share secrets of each other to another.
"Please...tell me the truth....I need to know." She pleaded, a serious look on her face.
Is this a question or an answer she wants?
Does she want what he really feels...?
He nodded eventually, looking down with his cheeks flustered and slightly red under the torchlights of the throbbing music.
Alicia then squealed, then hugged Snow. Snow had, during that time surprised at her direct remark, found his own hands wrap around her back as he pulled her closer within his embrace, within the square where the festival was alight with music and joy. For once in his life he thought everything was going well now, that there WAS something to look for in the future, to look forward to.
He hugged her tighter, relishing the feeling of someone close to him, the feeling of being known, being felt...
"....I....I was afraid." Alicia said during the embrace.
"Why..?" Snow responded, releasing his hug just a bit to look down at Alicia's brilliant blue eyes, a smile starting to form on his face, a feeling of relief flowing over his body. "Why are you afraid of my feelings...?"
"I don't know how he'll react...I want to know if I have the chance to make him like me...even love me...."
....? Something's wrong.
"....'He'..?" He repeated, his smile faltering, but trying not to show it. He couldn't surppress the tone of questioning or confusion however.
"Well..." She blushed, looking down for a moment.
Now it felt like something struck and slapped him hard on the face, leaving him silent and shocked at what was so obvious, so....just obvious.
Why hadn't he seen it sooner? Now it made sense why Alicia had asked that question. It makes sense now...
Once Snow realized suddenly why now, and slowly, his hands fell limp to his sides, the truth so obvious by her gestures and....
"....."
"Anyways--" She looked up, smiling widely at Snow, not noticing the absent stare on Snow's face. "Thanks for your answer, Snow...you're a real true friend to me. Thank you so much...Thank you for letting me share so much of my thoughts with you when I had no one to talk to...especially not my sisters or family...
Thank you for showing compassion to me, Snow...." She hugged him again, tightly.
Yet...as a friend.
....Just a friend.
Snow stared at her as she waved and departed, watching her move through the crowd rather quickly to a destination only she knows. Which she knows well, as if knowing the place by heart.
Where only she knows for herself.
And yet he stood there for a moment, listening to the sounds of the festival ebbing off to a standstill with everyone departing to their own place, their own dreams...
He didn't want to follow.
He didn't want to know.
No.
But....
.................
He started to walk; he started to follow her. Even if she only treats him as a friend, even...if only, just a friend...
He still has his duty to do for Ress.
Snow started to run, then leaping as he trailed behind her block after block, pathways after streets. It was his duty as a bodyguard to protect her. In no way should he compromise his position by putting emotions within his work.
He can't....
....It just hurts too much.
After running for who knows when, who knows how long, winding to and fro, he stopped, staring at the spectacle before him. Alicia was gone, whisked away into a door rather eagerly and willingly in a swipe. A small outline of the light within the room's interior shone through the window-silk as Snow looked from afar, his hands clenched to his sides, trembling, shaking...
Alicia with her pale festival mask set aside near a doorway. And in conjunction...
To another mask nearby.
Snow stared at the two mask joined together near the entryway for a long moment, their silence telling him of the joining, the mutual time and space that the two masks share together....
And then he turned back, and walked down the streets to nowhere in particular, to no one at all.
((Comments...?))
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