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Hello to the few people that drop in to read this... I just feel like writing today. *shrugs* No real reason.

So many things that wander around in my head... some a bit to personal for me to let out here... I'll write those later on Word or something. Or maybe discuss over PM's, if anybody really wants to know. Basically... Confusion, and maybe a little depression about a certain... friend.

Whoever said it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all... they lied. sweatdrop

I miss the way life used to be. It makes me kinda sad that my relationships with certain people have become strained... and I kinda wish they could go back to the way they were before everything changed... and yet I don't.

Hence the confusion. xd

That. And the new job brings out a few feelings.....

I'm not a social person... I'm the furthest from that social butterfly that a person can be... and yet... I feel so lonely sometimes... I've found myself once more sitting by myself at some table at lunch... eating quickly so I can just leave and go back to my station again. I can handle working alone, it's when there's people that could sit with me... but choose not too. And I'd rather walk over hot coals before ever considering going over to join them... If they wanted to sit with me, they would have. Idk... It's the one thing I miss about the old job... I'd sit and eat lunch by myself in the office... but I was on the internet at the same time, so I wasn't really alone. I miss have people to talk with during the day....

Now. Please please please don't take this the wrong way....

The two other girls that work in the area I do, the ones that could sit with me but don't, are both of a different nationality then me... and back when it was just me and the one girl, we'd eat together... but now the new girl's here... and they've grouped up. o.O; Ever notice how often that happens? I'm sure there are other people that probably don't have the problem I do, and some that do...

Basically, I'm a terribly shy person. One on one, I'm okay. Bring in another person though, and I slip back into the background... Like I said, not a social butterfly... and that's just with 2 people... o.o;

I am so pathedic. It's only 2 girls. I shouldn't be so.... almost terrified to try and sit with them... but... I don't know them. I'm not comfortable around them.... and I have a long, long, long history of being a.... can't think of the word right now... but I rarely take the first step. Most of the friends I have, I was introduced to... or they came up to me... Terribly terribly shy.

And... I'm rambling... hence the title I desided on. xd

Won't somebody comment? Anything? *sighs* I feel so lonely... sad