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biggrin ok so i'm being negative, but not as much as before razz

trying to stop bad habits..
like itching hair, and crap....
i'm tired of getting sick..

been listening to music a lot lately, more than usual. i wish i was the artists, doing something they love, and getting support from people around them. razz

listening to k[orean]-pop ...
like..
Super Junior - Twins (Knock Out)
BoA - Girls on Top
TVXQ stuff

and other pop... like backstreet boys and nynsc .. lol

i'm into singing and beats ... but i like gangsta rap/hip hop for the beats and some stuff...gives energy

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again, i said i'd clean my room, and i still haven't. obsessing over stupid k-pop, dancing, and admiring other people's works and s**t. tired of it, lol. that's a good and bad thing, cuz i know i'll come back to praise artists later [instead of doing hw].

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i hate listening to the way i sing, the sound changes most of the time, sometimes a dumb sounding jesse mcartney or some s**t. hahaah.

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been neglecting things too much...especially school/hw. i just can't stop listening to music and singing at times, lol. so addicting.
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said i'd learn to cook, but i need like an mp3 player to take everywhere for everything i do [not good though, cuz i can only concentrate at one thing at a time...]

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so how's everybody else? i don't really call nobody nomores, *feels bad* lol. i have no new years resolutions...just that, i wana be myself, which is of course obsessing over things, listening to music when doing almost everything, being lazy, be happy and such (as much as possible))...
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benadryl ******** knocked me out, i got suddenly sleepy. also, i can't really eat much cuz of stupid s**t put in my mouth from orthodonist person..blah. lol. so pain when i chew, need soft foods D:
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lost appetite cuz of s**t in mouth...
tired of school, we've been at school since like what, kindergarten? how many years is that? 9years school? D:
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thinking of getting hair cut to make my mom shut the freak up. I will ALWAYS love long hair layered and s**t, but i've been obsessing too much about my hair and it's even anoying the ******** out of me. and i miss my earring (that woulda been a perfect xmas or bday present for muwah, lol)) ..too lazy to buy any new ones...

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i wana change myself for this year, yet stay that same... so Uly, contradicting self..

cuz ******** FVUKING i said every year "oh, i'll get fit.." la la la.. MY a** okay... lol
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Want to break out,
leave who I am now behind.

Take new trails,
to run around...ready to shout...

Go beyond the life i have now,
to encounter what I have wanted before...

just to be the best,
to make fools of the rest,
who mock at me for being me,
"so i'll show you, you'll see",

enough with stereotypes i follow,
enough with stereotypes that i fall into,

I want to be my own type,
my ownself...

something to show the world,
something to make the world part of me..

tired of worrying about what I'm doing,
this is my life, and i choose where I want to go,

please don't try to help, or i'll fall behind,
just moving foward with no directions...

as much as i want help, i'll never get it...
my own fault for not asking for it,
telling others to go away...

i think i know where i am now,
i am finally here...
to my destiny, which is me..
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that is the most bullshit poem i have ever read [if it was even a poem]...i had a million things flying through my head..lol..

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that was complete bullcrap, I think i need to clean my room right now, lol...and sing along w/ nsync/backstreet boys'']

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P.S. i need a victim, i mean, friend, to join african dance w/ me...but but, i think if nobody wants to, whatever, i'll check it out..
[my grades can ******** themselves, my fault anyway that they're that way]
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"bad teenage poetry" <--- that's my life, haha domokun heart
[listening to upbeat music, ...the music that i'm listening to has an affect to my mood (even though i don't know what they're saying)