stare that's my face right now.....this is my face in 2 minutes.... stare ....You wanna know why?
Cuz today is my 15th birthday and no one has called of course...no one even got me anything for my birthday...just a happy birthday..well my dad got me a card and flowers and a balloon and I'm buddhist so really I shouldn't care but it's really hard to not be materialistic. Really I had no Idea it was going to be this hard ever in the entirertiy of my life...*and as you're reading this remember what this journal said...you'll say huh? at least once.* sweatdrop .....anywayz.....yeah I don't know exactly what I'm rambling about. I just like typing this s**t up on the computer rather than writing in my diary cuz writing is soo overrated but I think I definatly like August AGAIN! aaaa...but I soo screwed that up on the phone yesterday when he talked with me. He basically told me he still likes me and I didn't pay attention. IN FACT! I went on so boldly as to talk about not being able to get any guys my age to like me? How week is that? I find that I have become the stupidest gurl in the ENTIRE world to come to this boy. It was lots of fun talking to him, as it always is, talking to him but I just wanna hang out with him.....just play around do stuff together which is why I want me and Ish and Nancy and August to go to the mall for my birthday party on probably a monday if they'd let us....that would be soooo awesome...wish I could do it tomorrow but of course my parents have to work and it sux a**. Not only that but I really wanted to do it saturday but that's New Years Eve...not that I really see that as a problem but apparently people like spending that time of year with their family...not like I would cuz you and I both know what my family is like....yeah a whole lotta laughs right? lol rightttt. So I guess this is all that I need to write....for writing so much I feel like one of those nerds who does like a daily nerd blog/diary/journal thingy ma jig to affirm their assumtions and confirm their beliefs....cuz I just don't do that. I'm blocked up you could say. I think that's what pisses me off the most about myself. I can't ever talk to anyone. I'm everyone else's free therapist, but not one god damn person or even just a friend of mine can stop and listen to any of my problems. I think that may be why I can't take a hint from August....ooo did I mention yesterday that he told me he was a little suicidal???? omg! so am I! we are soo perfect for eachother.... smile wow. Ok so sometimes I think I"m one of those people where in the begining they seem like the perfect person so happy and carefree but later on in life you find that they have the complex of a phyco and are mentally insane/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
FUN................................................................................ANYWAYZ!!!!!!!!!
I figure I better leave now! cuz if I start on my problems I'm never getting out so I guess I'll talk to you l8r when I get to the point of breaking and lose it once more! Bye ya'll!
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Chigo's Thoughts of the Day
My whimsies though i'm not sure if they will be daily. Weird my thoughts are..sometime completely random....at the end I guarentee that you will have said huh? at least once. lol :)
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Sangochick128464
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