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ever get sick of it all?
playing the game we call life?
i'm not talking about suicide... far from
the rules, the chaos, the pain... it's not right
but what can little old me do about it? nothing
i can only live my life and hope things don't get any wrorse, like bing in a horror movie
just hope the killer doesn't come after you or that you don't fall down a hole or something like that
it's bull crap... serious bull crap
and i just keep steeping in it
and no matter how hard i try to clean my shoes, the smell is still there
hauntin gme in my dreams
reminding me that life is a b***h and that i will never have a perfect life
that people will screw me over and not give a rat's a** about it becasue they were programmed to be heartless
and how they pick themselves off the floor, but you can't
like your legs are broken and cemented to the floor
and god forbid, you get out, it's never the same
your heart can get broken, shattered into millions of pieces
and you can sit there and tape them back together ever so slowly
but then you realize how useless it is and how you'll always be missing the pieces of the puzzle that hide under your sofa
and it won't make the same picture it was before
so you ahve to start all oer again with a new heart
prettied up with a pink bow with that "scent de pure" that intoxicates you and blinds you from the univeral fact that:

LOVE IS BLIND

you don't see it coming, you see nothing else but it, and it robs you of ever seeing again when it leaves. it's stupid, but then again, every human has this instinct that tells them to go out ijn the world and find it like it was lost
u never had it. u will never know true love till you get married, and then it's still p[retty shady
you have the fall outs, the pain, the tears
and you think to yourself "why in the hell did i bother?"
and you can't answer it... becasue it's not in your mindset to answer that question, like it don't register in your mind
cuz you weren't built to question you fate
beacue everyone is meant to fall inlvoe, get married, have kids, and die old with the one they love
so when you start questioning it... it's madness in your head
u should get a slap on the hand with a ruler for thinking that kind of ludacrisy
and it's crazy, but i wanted that life
i mean, i don't want to be alone my whole life
i mean, freinds only go so far, but a physical relationship would be nice to have beofre i croak
i'm not saying i need people,. just one
one to say that they're mine and i'm there's and they don't need anyone else
that i was good enough for them
that no distraction can come between us
but no... he didn't care
he never did, but i didn't figure it out till now... i'm so naive
i'm a hypocrit... in so many ways
getting screwed over, but saying i'm smart enough not to do womthing stupid
i hate myself everyday for that
and i kick myself for remembering him and missing those times and wanting to see him
the guy that made me feel so alone that i almost cried
the guy that would rather stand me up then call
the guy that i haven't seen in about a month and we live in the same area code
the guy that thinks that everytime i call him, it's a waste of time
the guy that i lied to my parents for and got into so much trouble for
the guy that didn't respect me enough to go to my house to a frickin movie
A MOVIE!!!
sio screw him to hell, cuz that's where he's going