Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Day Of the oposite of normal

I don't get it guys, Why not me?
Why her?
I still dont get it
And i don't think i will
People tell me i am the most beautiful thing they have seen
They can't live without me
But yet
I feel i wont be missed if i leave any world
Am i unwanted?
Not needed?
Am i loved?
I don't understand
The only person i want is he of which i speak on this moment
He is the only man whom has not at one point called me beautiful
Can someone help me understand?
Can i share my actually pain with someone?
I don't think anyone would really understand
I wish i could tell my deepest secrets
But i wont and can't
I want to be special
I want to be here on mother earth for a reason
Not just a waste of space or air or time
I want someone to tell me i am beautiful whenever they can
I don't want a pervert
I want something real
Some people have been helping
Some people just don't understand
My pain or me
Im so numb i don't even feel the pain anymore
It is not his fault it is mine because
Im not good enough for him
And if he finds another
I will be sad
Just sitting in my seat
And i will be just another someone
To look at
To stare at
And crying doesn't help
Talking it out never works
I just don' get it
Is it because im to shy?
Or might it be because im not the most fit
We all dream
Thoes dreams might not come true
But our hearts will let us be as beautiful as we think we are
I just don't want to be here
Its so hard
It was when i was born that everything went down hill
Because i was born
You changed
I changed
We all changed
All we have to do is wake up
And see what has been clouding our eyes
So stand up
And i might just stand on my feet too.


*If you didnt get the subliminal message, read the bold letters*