I can't seem to think of anything good about myself. I often make this stupid joke that if i were to hang a sign stating "F.O.C" (Free of Charge) on myself and stand on the streets like some prostitute on the streets, i doubt anyone would still take my offer.
I used to stand in front of me mirror and tell myself "You're ugly" then laugh. Some parts of me accept that and it somewhat made me feel a little better to laugh at it over than to sit and cry over it.
If anyone ever ask me to choose between Beauty of Brains and on National TV too, I would proudly say... "BEAUTY DAMMIT!"
Shock the nation where everyone else secretly wishes to choose Beauty but picks Brains instead to make themself seem humble and smart!
Think about it, with the world being materialistic and all, beauty makes things easier. People would probably disagree and argue regarding it and i'm not saying that they're wrong. There is no right or wrong answers to this, it all purely depends on their personal choice.
Sure, beauty doesn't last, but hell,by the time you're old it would have done it's part. Some men don't like girls smarter than them or have a higher post than them in a company or something, bruises their HUGE egos.
Feeling bored i was in the library reading when i came across this article on Plastic surgery. In China, there's this girl that can't even get a job as a waitress because the boss says that the customers would lose their appetite seeing her face (harsh!). Went on plastic surgery and now her pay is five times more that her pay as a dishwasher and she's now an international tour guide to wealthy people. Nice. Glad she made it though.
To me, everyone is pretty in their own way. But maybe because i could see so much of my own flaw on the mirror there's a seed of doubt lodge in my mind that I'll never be pretty.
Truthfully, i used to be extremely suspicious of every guy that likes me. I kept wondering what was it that they really want from me?
Maybe till now i still am. I laugh loudly when i think about it and wonder if they're blind or something. I could never imagine why anyone would want to be with me.
Not as if i have a nice personality. *shrugs*
I'm not saying all these for attention or anything personal, but it's because i really do wonder. I'm no attention whore, the lower the limelight the better, least all my flaws shine through. Hehehe!
How does people see me?
Naive? Childish? Immature? 2 faced? Arrogant? Carefree? Stupid? Sensitive? Paranoid?
I suppose i am all of the above.. I'm pretty sure there's more bad that good. Low self esteem should be top of the list but i can't imagine myself walking around high and mighty and saying something like "Damn, i'm gorgeous" and sing Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
*strikes a pose*
I'll probably leave me in stitches laughing on the floor and feeling silly.
Oh well, i suppose i'll try to be optimistic and think of it as something for me to fix ... after i cry a bathtub full of course. I'm only human afterall.
But to those who do try their hardest to put up with me - Thank you! !
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