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I really do think about you all the time, Ashtin. And in all honesty...I don't know what I'm supposed to do...let alone what to say to you. I'll tell you...this week has been utter hell for me. I guess I'm just not meant to be with anyone. I'm actually pretty used to not being wanted for who I am. Like three weeks ago, a guy dumped me for being too quiet. See what I mean? I always have something wrong with me....and I've grown quite sick of always trying to please the world over myself.

But I'm letting go...and I mean it. I'm tired of hanging onto something that as you say is a "pointless effort". Is that what I am to you? Pointless? Why am I even typing this out?

I understand that you made a very huge and hurt filled sacrifice. But for some reason I really wanted to fight that battle....it doesn't matter to me that you are black. I wanted to stand for what I believed in...and to possibly have you there too. I don't care what my mother has to say on the matter. I'm tired of living like I don't love you. Because I do.

But I will do this for you, Ashtin. I will put aside everything.

But once I do, I'm never going back to pick my feelings up again.

I will always love you. So never let that thought cross your mind that I don't.

Chauncey and I are going to give life a try.

I'm sorry, for everything I've done wrong and for everything I could never do good enough.

I pray to God you find someone who you can actually love....without limits...or regrets.

I'm not afraid to love you. But in loving you...I will let you go.