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I never thought it was possible to feel this much pain. I don't know how things could have gone from perfect to terrible any faster. The last 4 months were the best months of my life and now this past week was the worst week of my life. Me and Ben brokeup and according to him it's only sposed to be for a while so it's like we are on a break and we all know what that means. My heart is broken and missing so many pieces. I still love him so much but I wish I didn't I wouldnt have to feel this. It would be easier to hate him but I can't he means the world to me. It hurts ever second of the day. I can't breath, sleep, or even eat. This pain it just to real. I've never felt this bad and I've never been this hurt. I don't know what to do nothing seems to help. Whats worse is Christmas is coming and I'm all depressed for it. I have no one to spend it with. I don't know if I should let go of Ben or not. I want to believe that we will get back together after a while like he says but I doubt it. He keeps on saying I deserve better. I just wish he would shut up when he says stupid things like that. He treats me better than any other guy ever did. I don't know what to do. I don't even feel like I can make it through. If it wasn't for God I would probaly be dead. Thank God for giving me sanity and love to live off of. I just want to wake up from this nightmare. I just want things to go back to the way they were.
 soccerhottie101 · Sat Dec 03, 2005 @ 08:45pm · 4 Comments |
