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Now, I know that I should be grateful for what I have. But I feel every day like I have next to nothing. At least as far as things that matter. Like, I don't get along with anyone in my family for reasons unbeknownst to me. The people I consider friends offline make me feel like s**t on a daily basis (maybe it's intentional, maybe I'm too sensitive, but they never acted like such assholes before 2009). Everyone seems to be against me except for maybe three people tops. Now I don't want people commenting this saying I'm emo or that I'm just whining like a b***h who doesn't know what real s**t is, but I truly feel alone in this world, and that is my greatest fear, the one thing that causes me the most pain. There is a song, however, that I have recently discovered (new to me, fans of the band probably think it's pretty old) that really fits how I feel, in a way. It's helped me tonight, at least, to sort of get this out there and cry for the first time in so long. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't still feel this empty space in my life, this loneliness. It just means that tonight, this song has helped me to deal with it to some small extent. The song is called "Zzyzx Road" by Stone Sour.

I don't know how else to put this
It's taken me so long to do this
Falling asleep and I can't see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body's curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I'm still afraid

Propped up by lies with promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe it's time I saw the world
I'm only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now?
What am I supposed to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through?
Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week
But I'm leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry
I'm following suit and direction
I crawl inside for protection
I'm told what to do and I don't know why

I'm overexisting in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away
I'm ready to live with my family
I'm ready to die in obscurity
'Cause I'm so tired and I gotta go

Where am I supposed to whine now?
What am I supposed to do?
You still don't think I'm gonna see this through
Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

Still too tired to care, I gotta go
I'm still too tired to care, I gotta go
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go