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Pity. I can't know if he's sincere or manipulative, I can't tell if he loves you because he loves you, or if he's come back because now on the brink of death he knows no one else can accept him. I can't know if I can give you the right answer, because I can't be unbiased.

I will never like men like that, who wait till death to seek redemption, to see change -- or pretend to -- only well after they've hurt and abused the ones who loved them, repeatedly. If you wanted me to be the perfect altruist and say "go to him," out feelings of romance and pity then you chose the wrong person. After what he put you through, if he'd shown up and we were living together... I could very probably punch him in the face.

Your trust was shattered and re-shattered again, your heart was torn apart, and I remember the crying, the tears, the hurt. I want to think I helped bring you back from all that, and I can't accept that he can simply walk back in to pick up where he left off, after I spent so much time loving you, and helping you get over him. I don't want to ask you to make a choice, I'll probably always be here no matter what.

But I hope you don't choose him. It seems heartless and cruel. It may be one of the meanest things you can do, from his perspective. But you have to think of you first, because there are no guarantees he's changed, and even if he has you should know by now that you deserve much better.

Perhaps I am evil, and we must take into consideration that I don't like most men out of personal experience of the tears cried at their expense.

But I love you.