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today at youth, church was going fine until it was time for the buses to pick us up. my friend andy, his 800 dollar shoes were stolen ( i dont get why someone would pay that much for shoes, or why he took them off). his fiance had given them to him, so they also had sentimental value. andy was upset, and was switching from ranting to crying. one of the "adults" yelled at him, which made him feel worse, and start crying even more. we were sitting in the van, waiting for it to start, and i told andy not to worry about what he said, and to not take it to heart, cuz he was like that to everyone, and that it wasnt agianst him specificly. the bus driver and the dude heard me say that, so they kicked us off the van. the dude(whos an a*****e, and hates everyone) told me and andy that we could never ride the church van agian, because i was "bad talking about an adult", uh no, i was comforting a friend, like a good christian, they preach about being kind, and understanding, and then kick out someone for comforting a friend? hypocrites! thier so called "refuge" is a lie! and what really sucks is that it was the only church that i could really go to. so because the church is stuck up, i cant go to church and learn more about god and jesus. (i need the church van, barely have enough money for food, much less gas money for church, besides, it has a really good youth program, and thier beliefs are close to mine, or so i thought...) so ya, now i cant go to church because they are hypocrits. they set a bad example for christian behavior.
so i went home, cried alot, called my ex, jeremy,who calmed me down, and made me feel a lot better. at least he doesnt yell at me or tell me its my fault like other people do. hes always there for me, unlike that hypocritical church. hes the only person ive allowed to hear or see me cry, and talk about it with. (when i lived at my gramma n grampas house, i wasnt allowed to cry, so i always turned tears and sadness, and fear, into anger, i try not to now that i dont live there anymore, but its hard to break the habit. i dont think ill ever be comfortable letting anyone else see or hear me like that.)