April 22, 2009 Wednesday 9:35PM
To my dearest Sennyo,
I've been meaning to write to you for some time now, but I just hadn't been able to work up the courage, the motivation, the heart. But, today, at the thing like the youth-group, it was just so nice in ways.
The sky was beautiful, from the time of arrival to the nights end. The clouds still hung in the sky in dark blue and dark purple forms.
Victory, or rather her medium, and I were able to talk due to the absence of M.. With her absence, Victory and I are able to speak to one another about things within our hearts, rather than trivial, yet entertaining and humorous, things. Victory told me about a new dream she had, of another version of the world's rebirth, it was amazing.
Did you know, that she's gotten as for as 'Love is Evol Backwards?'. I can't quite remember the placement this chapter of your and our life together is, but it's after the introduction of Darkness into the story's life.
Later that night, within the last half-hour perhaps, Ice joined us. Victory and I, I mean. Red Blank had approached me minutes before, Glass and Victory's younger blood, Panda, and Glass had already gone off ahead of us out of sight. Red said to me to keep Victory busy, I could why. Red told us that she had to go to the bathroom. Of course.
Anyway, Victory and I began to talk about Victory and You, it was nice. Then, Ice came through the back door of the building and came towards our little picnic table, he sat by me within comfortable friendly distance. And then, only several seconds later, Glass, Red Blank, and Panda came hurrying over to us! Glass sat by Ice, who was sitting next to me, so he squished us together. It was...nice. At first, I had my shoulder to Ice, but then I turned my shoulder back so it was a bit behind him so that his arm was touching my side/breast. We talked about nonsense as my heart fluttered. He was so warm.
What a terrible person I am, huh? Such an awful human being. I use people. I get close to them and fan the fire of their hearts with my own. Only once the subject too tries to get too close, out of the realms of fantasy love, I break them. What is This Person That I Am using them for? For whom am I substituting them for? It's happened so much, I see it now when I shift through what I think to be Our memories.
Before Ice Warrior had come around, I mentioned Your story to Victory. When I asked her how far she had come, she had mention that chpater as mention above. I confirmed with her that it was after darkness' entrance (although I had not used those words). She confirmed this. I told her that the Entrance was my starting of eighth grade. The time when I started to write down the sadder thoughts into You, instead of the positive ones like I used to. She said that she had noticed. That was so great of her. But, was it true, or just politeness/for conversation's sake?
On the way going back to the front of the building, I told Victory how such a horrible person I was, twisting the hearts of beings out of my own weakness. She it wasn't true, it was just my way to cope.
She's so admirable, Victory is. And, not just in the dreams, in real life too, her dreamer I mean! She's so strong both emotionally and physically, she has great perserverance, she knows how to stand up for the things that she believes in and she's so open to others' ideas and everything really! If I had been able to be strong like her, would You not have passed away?
These feelings that I feel, for you, and for others, are they real? I delude myself into thinking that You are still within my heart, in its core. E tuh'd fyhd du moca oui, Sennyo-dono. Please forgive me.
[End Log]
Poison Fairy Sennyo Community Member 
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