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I've had a crush on a boy I've known for quite a while; he's rhythm guitarist in my "band" (we need a drummer) and a pretty good friend of mine. I always thought he liked another girl, so I'd back off and not act on my feelings.
A week ago, him, my friend Matty, and I were all laying on my bed watching TV. Then out of nowhere, Steve(boy) started a pillow fight. It was so much fun. Then Matty left, leaving me and Steve alone. Basically we talked about anything and everything and laughed a lot, it was pretty awesome. Then, he entwined his fingers in mine, and I looked at him.. somewhat confused, and didn't believe what was happening. But then, my dad walked in and he backed away.
The friday after that, I was talking to some friends about Steve, and my one friend said she thought he said he liked me. It gave me a little bit of hope. Saturday (the second showing of the play, yes I'm in stage crew, and I'm a drama nerd.) Steve went to it. So I hung out with him a little bit during intermission and he said he was going to the cast party.
At the cast party, I was talking to Steve, when a mob of skanky freshmen came over. When one of them was all up on him, I swear, I was going to punch her in the face. Jealous? Not quite. Disgusted with the fact that she was wearing clothes showing off s**t she doesn't have and her face is ugly and she was being a tramp while putting her "boobs" on his arm? Yes. I actually had to walk away for a while to get out my anger. I couldn't stand it.
I came back later, and Steve was sittin on the couch. He practically pulled me down on his lap and we were talking again, then something was said, and we kissed. And then, we talked about how we felt for eachother. God, it was the most insightful and amazing thing I've done. I've never had someone tell me how they feel straight up to my face, just spill everything to me. I've never been so open in my life. He makes me feel like I can say anything to him and he'll know what I mean. It's amazing how much fun we have and then we can be honest with eachother and understand that, too.
He said that night that he felt confused, and that he felt like things were happening all at once. He also said it felt right to be with me, but he needed to think. I was willing to wait. Then, after sunday had come and gone, it was monday. He asked me out during our lunch period. (we have it together. :3) I feel comfortable, at ease with him. I don't tense up or get nervous. But I only really feel best when we're alone. It's a little awkward for me, but I'm still trying to adjust to it.
He's a senior, (gosh, do I fit the stereotype of "I like older guys" much? D: ) he's one of my brother's friends, and he's cool with the family. Buuut.. I'm still not 16 damnit. I'm keeping it on the DL until then. In the back of my mind I'm afraid we won't last. But I hope it does.
-Schizoid
 Refined Corruption · Wed Nov 23, 2005 @ 12:45am · 1 Comments |
