|
Honestly. It's been so long.. almost a year since I knew I loved a boy with all my heart. And I jump from crush to crush, fall through to fall through, fickle, petty, insignificant puppy love. Gosh, I thought I wasn't looking for my soulmate. But I just don't feel comfortable around anyone anymore. I have issues with physical contact too. I get freaked out whenever someone even gets close to me. I don't know why I feel so distant. I just rather be far away..than too close.
Almost a year ago, I knew I loved a boy with all my heart. I loved him for six months, and only was served six days of justice. And the six days weren't even all monogomous. By the morn of day 2 he was pining after another girl, another heart. She cared. She gave a s**t. She was going to be the girl he married. She was everything. He was in love with her.
I'm not one for drama, but some things need to be said. Am I a girl that deserves that? I give nothing but loyalty, devotion, monogomy, true love. I don't nag, I don't b***h. It's deeper than that for me. I would have done anything he asked of me because I felt it was my number one priority to make him happy. I wanted to be his girl he wanted to marry. I dreamed about it, being together, being older.
Psh, I think I'm over him? I wouldn't be ranting and raving like all those other times if I was. I'm only over him enough not to fall for him again. But it still gets me in a twist when I've seen him talk about his "love and loss" bullshit. "Another girl ******** me over, blah blah blah..." If he wasn't so DENSE, he'd realize I was right under his nose. It's just amazing how completely blind he was. He must have been a fool not to know I was whipped to boot.
Too bad. His loss. Could have been so much better. Too bad he wasn't willing to keep it in his pants and jumped from girl to girl. I vaguely remember him saying something along the lines of,
"If I make one person happy, fifty people are mad."
To counter that,
"A fool who tries to please everyone, pleases no one."
It's not about them, it's about you. Make up your mind, date a girl. If things turn sour, dump her a**, if things get good, stick around. Simple as that. Dumbass.
-Schizzy
 Refined Corruption · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 04:07am · 1 Comments |
