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I don't know what I was thinking... Let's see what else I can do before I destroy what's left of my friends. I lied to protect one, I lied so another wouldn't be mad at me, and I was honest with another of my friends and now he's a wreck...
I don't think I could hurt them anymore if I tried. And on top of that, I was preached to yesterday... about stupid religion. It's a really touchy subject for me. They wouldn't stop about the god damned celestial kingdom and the father in heaven... I cried, especially after they said "You're such a good girl." Can you imagine. I'm killing the three most important guys in my life and they say I'm a 'good girl'.
On top of that, they're forcing religion on me. I even said "I'm not a very religious person." I said, "I lean more towards re-incarnation." and they keep talking to me about how I'll end up at the celestial ******** kindom! I don't give a s**t if I rot in the dirt after I die! I just want everything to end alright so I can at least die with piece of heart and mind...
I'm ********... royally. I guess it doesn't matter what I do, someone will end up hurt... Will I EVER be able to face the world the way I did when I was young? Will I EVER have the same wonder and love for the world around me?? Probably not, all things considered. But, oh well, that's life... I just can't wait to get the ******** out of here. As soon as I can, I'm ******** leaving. Hopefully, I'll get a chance at fame so I can afford to get as far away from here as possible...