It may be sudden, and I've never been good at handling sudden change. But its what she needs of me. So yesterday I set a date, one that is relatively close to now. On the third and fourth of next month I will be flying down to see her.
Her mother is still an obstical, and I dare not even fathom what to do about her father. All I know is that I must go see her is we are to stay togeather. And I have to see her before this year is out. If I take longer than that I fear I will loose her.
That is my greatest fear. My reasons for this should be plain to see. I love her, but there is also something more. When I was dealing with one of the must difficult parts of my life she was there for me. If she had not been I really don't know if I would be here today. Those times were hard, and I was not handling things well. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't taking care of my body, I had nearly given up on my studies. But then I met her.
She does even know it. I was very good at hiding how hard things hit me, and the only people who really know how hard things got are my parents and shrink. Yet whenever I talk to her things seemed better, like I had some crazy reason to keep trying. I wanted to keep going because of her.
Now I will return that favor. In the coming days she will face more stress and hardship that I think she has faced before. And my sloth has only been making things worse.
I won't cause her pain, lest strike me down first.
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FylkSoul
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