DAD: Can I help you?
DOUG: Um yes, I need to speak with your wife.
DAD: What for?
DOUG: A personal business matter....
DAD: Oh OK... HONEY!!!! SOMEONE WANTS YOU!
Doug really wants her. He made sure he was fully unaware of their conversation and was clearly in another room.
MOM: DOUG??!!
DOUG: !
MOM: What are you doing here?
DOUG: Where's Ami?
MOM: You can't see her!
DOUG: Why not?
MOM: We talked about this...inmyspace.com all sites....
DOUG: Can I spend the day with her? Please?!
MOM: NO!
DOUG: LET ME SEE HER!!!!!!!!!
MOM: Can we talk about this in the house?
DOUG: Okay.
While Doug walked in the house, he saw a girl with bright red hair and chocolaty brown eyes sitting on the floor with a laptop. She looked up at him when he strolled down the hallway.
DOUG: Is that....Ami?
MOM: That's none of your business.
DOUG: It is isn't it? I knew it. She sort of looks like you.
MOM: She looks like you too.
DOUG: Really?
MOM: The whole male stripper vibe isn't appropriate right now and it just isn't helping the environment.
DOUG: But I quit that last week!
MOM: I still get a vibe form that.
DOUG: Can I talk to her?
MOM:........
DOUG: Please?
MOM: Fine.................I guess you can. I'll give you ten minutes. Not eleven.
DOUG: Thank you!
Mom left the room and searched for Ami.
MOM: Oh, there you are.
AMI: Hello mother.
MOM: Can you come with me for around ten minutes?
AMI: OK.
[walks]
MOM: Ami.......this.....is your...father.
AMI: You're the guy on myspace who says you're my father?
DOUG: Um, yes.
AMI: Wow.
DOUG:......
AMI: I was expecting an uglier version. This is a bit more decent than then I thought.
DOUG: Please don't refer to me as "the guy on myspace".
AMI: But you are.
Doug was at his best to keep a fatherly demeanor.
DOUG: No I am not. That's disrespectful.
AMI: Then what do I call you?!
DOUG: You are to call me-
AMI: MY FATHER????!!??!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!?!??!?
DOUG: Yes Ami, I am your..........................................father.
AMI: S***! How did you find our house?
DOUG: That's none of your business Ami.
AMI: I hate you already.
MOM: Ami don't say that to your father!
AMI: He's not my dad!
MOM: Yes he is!
DOUG: I'm your biological father!
AMI: Where are the DNA tests?
MOM: What are you talking about?
AMI: Why didn't you take a DNA test?
DOUG: This isn't Sci Fi!
AMI: I want some proof! I don't believe it!
DOUG: That's incorrect; you don't WANT to believe it.
AMI: Go to a lab.
DOUG: Believe it!
AMI: Go!!!!!
MOM: Ami you need to accept the fact that he's your father!
AMI: I'm Satan!
DOUG: ...
MOM:...
AMI: I'm Satan trapped in a girl's body.
MOM: Ami that's enough with this nonsense.
AMI: It's the truth.
DOUG: What are you saying?
AMI:
Don't make me kill you.
