Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I think I should give up on life. I don't have good self esteem so when the man I love broke up with me it wounded me pretty bad. But even before I ever started dating I've always felt life was useless, worthless, pointless. But since the break up things have been getting worse. I live in a catholic family and thats hard when you enjoy things they don't understand or they find evil or they just say i'm being stupid. I don't have a family and I have no friends, I have no one to talk to about my problems because who would understand my problems. technically when you get down the the nitty gritty who in they're right minds would give a ******** about anybody anyways. And if you were lucky enough to come across some one who cares it is more likely even rarer that they would love you for yourself rather than having sympathy for you.

I have no will or motivation to live, I don't eat anymore, when I do eat I feel sick afterwards, I find it hard to sleep and even read my books which I totally love. Point is i'm losing faith in life and I have been thinking of suicide. It must run in the family my uncle hung himself. Problem is, since I have no will to do anything I also have no will to kill myself. I'm not saying I've got it worse then anybody in fact they way I see it its how you deal with your problems that make them seem impossible to deal with. People say evil is evil and good is good but I find everything in life to be a matter of opinion even in the face of facts. Negativity as well as being positive is all a point of view, crazy, stupid, smart, cripple its all a point of view. I find myself to be pretty sane while others find me crazy.