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I've been staggeringly dizzy lately. I can't blink without feeling like I'll fall over. And I hate taking medicines. I have three reasons for that:

1. I have a morbid fear of becoming addicted to anything. Thank you, childhood trauma, for that one.

2. I'm a firm believer that if I'm sick, I probably did something to deserve it. Anyway, I think it's a good idea to let my body fight off infection on its own; give the white blood cells something to harass once in a while. Build up my own immunity.

3. I can never remeber to take the goddamned pills. As I nearly did today. Damn you, Neulasta!


Ummm... Dizzy spells are going. It would also help if I ate something once in a while, but I've been having absurd cravings for raw meat and coffee, as if those things ever appear side by side on a menu. And I've been making unreasonable decisions as well. For example, someone's birthday is fast approaching, someone whom I love dearly and hold close to my heart. And I've decided I would give this person a gift unlike anything they'd ever recieved before. Yes, no one could match my gift. It would be a gift of Hurculean stature, a gift only heard of in ancient myths and folklore, the stuff of fairy tales and legends. It would be something that would last through the ages, something the billions of people in the world could have as a part of their lives, from cradle to grave, generation after generation, and yet... it would belong, truly, only to that one person. Something that person deserves. Something brilliant and beautiful, something... heavenly.


Ah, I've said too much. Sleep, that's what I need. Goodnight, people.