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I got a new job at Taco Bell, im sure it will suck horribly, but I have to, no other road to choose. Every day for a few years now, i've been dealing with a lot of things emotionaly. There are a lot of friends that i have kept part of my life a secret from, because in the last year, i have changed a lot. I just want everyone to know that i really care for them, well at least all of the people in my life, or who got to share a part with my life. i have always felt like a complete failer, and if it werent for my pride, i would have broken out in tears and asked you to save me from everthing. Jeremy, nicki, you have both known me really well, and i just want to say thank you a lot for your help, if it were: feeding me, telling me im pretty, and even just being my freind, i miss yall so much, but I have a new life to live and I have to. This is something thay I have to do, some ways im obligated and some ways I choose, im not sure where my life will take me, hopeing not the bad. Things change for me every day. Its like a never ending parade in my mind. i have always been very self contiouse, though I always hid it, very nervouse and shy in some ways, and a very low self asteem. No one really ever noticed it i guess, i wanted to make everyone happy and keep everyone strait, but now i know, that when people fight, it pointless to try and stop it, they will just do it again and again, like my parents and everyone around me, I just wanted everyone to stop fighting. May sound a little childish, but i just wanted everyone to be friends, happy everyday, i was tired of not being. Anyways, I thank NICKI, JEREMY, EVERYONE ELS WHO KNEW ME THEN..........I even thought of what i detested most....suicide, but I thought of it as just being a coward which i was, and selfish. Love always Shannon.......... heart