I don't think I've ever been this torn up in my life... even when my dad left...... I cried all night last night because of it and I still haven't figured out what to do...
I was talking to one of my best guy friends last night and told him I was worried about another one of my male friends and he got quiet, then said, and I quote, "Well I'll just leave you be with __" I panicked. I'd never heard him say anything like that, ever. I begged and pleaded for him to talk to me, but he hardly said a thing. I kept apologizing over and over again, but he just wouldn't answer. When he did he said "It's fine." But that was pretty much all he said......
I'm not going to stop talking to my other pal, but I don't want him mad at me. I care about them both, and I couldn't stand it if I hurt either one of them... But, this is tearing me apart. I cried almost all night thinking about what I did... I feel like this whole mess is my fault...
I feel like I'm losing him... I love him so much, it hurts to see him this way... I love them both... I just wish that he would talk to me... I can't picture my life without either of them. Does that make me wrong? Wanting to hold the two of them? Caring for them both until it hurts? I guess I'm just tearing myself into smaller pieces... so what should it matter. Not that many people care anyway... I just hope he forgives me...... I can't imagine a life without them...........
Girl_in_love61636 Community Member 
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