let me live without this
empty bliss, selfishness.
on friday, I felt reallt good.
I asked A to our ball: something i'd been meaning to do and was nervy-making and insane and omgscary... But I had to -kinda- turn down S and break his heart in the process? Okay, so after a few more converstaions, my mood changed slightly:
1. A was C's friend in the first place. Well, I use the term 'friend' loosely; they went to school together, they were almost enemies. It could hurt her to find out I'd 'stolen' him. And I am one of her 'best' freinds, after all...
2. He doesn't know any of my mates. Now this wouldn;t be a problem, if only I'd met him in real life in the first place! Now I know that it sounds insane and crazy, but I'm just praying that the chemistry that I think I feel is really there.
3. On the other hand, S is good mates with all my friends. Now I don;t really feel any attraction to him, at all. But I know that it'd be fun and that we'd have a good time: something I'm not sure will happen with A
I'm just insecure and unsure and I ahve no idea what I'm going to do.
empty bliss, selfishness.
on friday, I felt reallt good.
I asked A to our ball: something i'd been meaning to do and was nervy-making and insane and omgscary... But I had to -kinda- turn down S and break his heart in the process? Okay, so after a few more converstaions, my mood changed slightly:
1. A was C's friend in the first place. Well, I use the term 'friend' loosely; they went to school together, they were almost enemies. It could hurt her to find out I'd 'stolen' him. And I am one of her 'best' freinds, after all...
2. He doesn't know any of my mates. Now this wouldn;t be a problem, if only I'd met him in real life in the first place! Now I know that it sounds insane and crazy, but I'm just praying that the chemistry that I think I feel is really there.
3. On the other hand, S is good mates with all my friends. Now I don;t really feel any attraction to him, at all. But I know that it'd be fun and that we'd have a good time: something I'm not sure will happen with A
I'm just insecure and unsure and I ahve no idea what I'm going to do.
