Wow.. I'm so tired now, and I only kinda sorta half know why.. It isn't the physical type of 'tired' though... it's more.. well... I don't know. Kinda like.. tired of putting up with stuff..
I just finished reading one of my friends' journal entries.. ( I won't say who, mostly because I don't really feel like it.. ) and it made me think. Why is everyone these days so worried about whether they're cool or not? I mean, hey. I do that sometimes too. Not as often as some people, but then I spend most of each day down in my dumb basement. =b
But, well.. Like most of the guys I know. So many of them refuse to show anything but goofing off and stuff.. some of them are never serious, and most of them really have this thing against showing weaknesses or whatever to everyone else.. Even when a lot of girls /like/ the sensitive type. ><;
And some of my other friends.. well.. try to outdo me in things. I mean, I like something, they like it because I do, not because they would like it if I WEREN'T into it. It's like, say, I look forward to a CD that's coming out, and wait for like a half of a year for it to come out.. but then just before it does, I tell my friend, and that friend goes out and buys the CD just because I'm into it, and because that person won't just get into something /they/ like, instead of freaking copying me...
I mean, when I really love something ( Like Kingdom Hearts, etc.. and when I like something like Kingdom Hearts, I go /all out/. ), I obsess over it.. and when I do that, I like to show other people how much I love it.. I don't look at Kingdom Hearts as just another cool Videogame.. I look at it as a beautiful story, full of awesome characters, great themes, and born from one of those rare ingenius ideas that people don't often get, that everyone thinks will go over badly, but it ends up being one of the best things of our time.. that happened with Star Wars too. ( Well.. the older trilogy, anyway. I don't as much care for 1-3 myself.. )
But when I try to show people how much I love something, the best way I can do that is to be 'the best fan of it that I can be'. And then sometimes I tell someone, and then that someone comes and gets more of the mangas, more of the anime, more of whatever, and seems like a better 'fan'.. But then the person doesn't care about whatever it is on as deep of a level as I do... They just treat it as something to enjoy for awhile and then forget about until they feel like enjoying it again.
I could never stand shallow people.. and that may sound like something akin to racist, but.. well.. I'm not saying I'm awesome, but I'm pretty deep.. and I like deep things. And people. Hence my love for anime, and the fact that most of my friends are anime fans.
But.. when I get shown up like that, it makes it feel like, 'wow, how lame am I, that I love something so much and yet someone who doesn't really care is doing a better job of it..?' I have to hit myself in the face sometimes to get myself to stop thinking about it.. Unfortunately, that's one of my flaws. I always want to be the biggest fan of something.. I used to deal with it worse, though, when that happened when I was younger.. man, I feel sorry for what few friend I had back then.. ><;
... Wow. That's a heck of a rant... I'm probably going to regret posting it here too.. I'll be surprised if I don't get flamed for it by total strangers. xP It's not like I can tell anybody any of this though.. for multiple reasons, anyway. Just my mom.. and I think she's getting tired of listening to me. >_O; Typical, ne?
Anyway, I'm gonna go let my mom listen to the song I just found.. one I love singing to, that's kinda lame... but oh well. What does it matter? xb
( As a reward - you get to laugh at me.. d'oh - for getting this far.. [ if anyone did.. sweatdrop ] I'll disclose the song. =b "A Dream is a Wish your Heart makes".. Yeah, lame, eh? Well, I like it. And I like singing with it.. so whatever. )
But yeah.. that's all for now. ( I know, I know. Whew. XP Why'd you read this far? Wierd person, you are. )
I just finished reading one of my friends' journal entries.. ( I won't say who, mostly because I don't really feel like it.. ) and it made me think. Why is everyone these days so worried about whether they're cool or not? I mean, hey. I do that sometimes too. Not as often as some people, but then I spend most of each day down in my dumb basement. =b
But, well.. Like most of the guys I know. So many of them refuse to show anything but goofing off and stuff.. some of them are never serious, and most of them really have this thing against showing weaknesses or whatever to everyone else.. Even when a lot of girls /like/ the sensitive type. ><;
And some of my other friends.. well.. try to outdo me in things. I mean, I like something, they like it because I do, not because they would like it if I WEREN'T into it. It's like, say, I look forward to a CD that's coming out, and wait for like a half of a year for it to come out.. but then just before it does, I tell my friend, and that friend goes out and buys the CD just because I'm into it, and because that person won't just get into something /they/ like, instead of freaking copying me...
I mean, when I really love something ( Like Kingdom Hearts, etc.. and when I like something like Kingdom Hearts, I go /all out/. ), I obsess over it.. and when I do that, I like to show other people how much I love it.. I don't look at Kingdom Hearts as just another cool Videogame.. I look at it as a beautiful story, full of awesome characters, great themes, and born from one of those rare ingenius ideas that people don't often get, that everyone thinks will go over badly, but it ends up being one of the best things of our time.. that happened with Star Wars too. ( Well.. the older trilogy, anyway. I don't as much care for 1-3 myself.. )
But when I try to show people how much I love something, the best way I can do that is to be 'the best fan of it that I can be'. And then sometimes I tell someone, and then that someone comes and gets more of the mangas, more of the anime, more of whatever, and seems like a better 'fan'.. But then the person doesn't care about whatever it is on as deep of a level as I do... They just treat it as something to enjoy for awhile and then forget about until they feel like enjoying it again.
I could never stand shallow people.. and that may sound like something akin to racist, but.. well.. I'm not saying I'm awesome, but I'm pretty deep.. and I like deep things. And people. Hence my love for anime, and the fact that most of my friends are anime fans.
But.. when I get shown up like that, it makes it feel like, 'wow, how lame am I, that I love something so much and yet someone who doesn't really care is doing a better job of it..?' I have to hit myself in the face sometimes to get myself to stop thinking about it.. Unfortunately, that's one of my flaws. I always want to be the biggest fan of something.. I used to deal with it worse, though, when that happened when I was younger.. man, I feel sorry for what few friend I had back then.. ><;
... Wow. That's a heck of a rant... I'm probably going to regret posting it here too.. I'll be surprised if I don't get flamed for it by total strangers. xP It's not like I can tell anybody any of this though.. for multiple reasons, anyway. Just my mom.. and I think she's getting tired of listening to me. >_O; Typical, ne?
Anyway, I'm gonna go let my mom listen to the song I just found.. one I love singing to, that's kinda lame... but oh well. What does it matter? xb
( As a reward - you get to laugh at me.. d'oh - for getting this far.. [ if anyone did.. sweatdrop ] I'll disclose the song. =b "A Dream is a Wish your Heart makes".. Yeah, lame, eh? Well, I like it. And I like singing with it.. so whatever. )
But yeah.. that's all for now. ( I know, I know. Whew. XP Why'd you read this far? Wierd person, you are. )
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