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I realize now that yes ,Star, you were right.
O.O;
I am nothing but a cheat.
I play with people.
I take them for granted.
Thinking that they'll never leave me no matter what happens.
No matter what they're going through.
I'll put my pain first. I'm a selfish creature.
Sometimes I'll wonder how I go on to live my life.
It seems I live to make people miserable.
cry Maybe happy.
Depends on what happens.
I'm sorry everyone.
For wrecking you're lives.
Making it merisble.
Like my soul.
Utterly repulsive I am.
.o.
I'm just an extra.
x.x
I've always seemed to have put my pain before anything else.
Like when my friends Dad left. I honestly really didn't care.
I knew that he would come back. He did though.
But I was trembling through a heartshatter.
x.x so I was in a different state of mind.
I didn't seem to care about what others thought..
Like my annoyance. x.x
I am really just....a bother...to everyone.
That's how it seems.
Sorry. Sorry.
That's all I can seem to say. Dx
I'm stupid. I hated school.
I hated it so much, I dropped out.
(Homeschooling next semester.)
Because of the isolation.
I told my Dad that I hated school...
And everyone in it...so he agreed..
But still.
I hated to see my old friends.
How when we stopped being friends...
I was the only that changed..
That got hurt..
That got all th pain.
That suffers from being alone.
All I seemed to have was my books.
See what I mean?
Stupid hurt. It does nothing to me no longer.
I have...Jasmine...=D
And...Nick...
Yeah. I really do. I've given up and everything else.
I haven't read a book in forever.
x.x online maybe..
But the kind where you turn pages.
x.x
I don't eat as much...
The common question is:
"Are you anerexic?"
No I am not. I dont' think.
But I can tell that I've lost weight.
I'm paler o.e;;
I can see that right away.
My friend told me that if he saw me for the first time his impression was.."emo" how disgracing. I hate hose stupid questions:
"are you emo?", "do you cut?" no!!
bai.
 candyapplesmile · Sat Dec 20, 2008 @ 08:20am · 0 Comments |
