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I went to church with Nick yesterday. We actually went, too.
He goes to the Yale and Monaco building..the one I went to when I was a kid.
It's also the building that my grandma's funeral was at.
Before yesterday, I hadn't been back to the Yale and Monaco building since her funeral.
I have no idea what the speakers talked about yesterday. Just sitting in the chapel again brought back all the memories of her funeral. Halfway through Sacrament meeting I thought I was going to cry. I almost left for the bathroom just so I could cry...but I couldn't remember where they were, so I kinda couldn't.
Instead I just sat there, staring at the bench my family sat in during the funeral, and forced myself to not cry.
There's one thing I regret most in life...When my grandma was in the hospital, we went to visit her, but she was sleeping. I was "too young to go into her room" as my aunt said, so I just stood in the doorway and watched her sleep. The next time I saw her was in the coffin at the funeral home. I regret not going into her room...I regret not telling her that I loved her, even though it would have been the last time I got to. I regret listening to my aunt and staying out, even though my dad said I could go in.

I miss her so much.... crying