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[******** hot topic. now i've got 5 days to find something for dori for xmas 'cause i'm not going back to get what i wanted for her. i have FIVE days left here, and it's miserable. No snow. No people. And people in stores are either assholes or, well, ASSHOLES. I walked into Dillards for no reason in particular, and 4 salespeople asked me if I was looking for something particular in the 2 minutes I was in there. LIKE I'M GOING TO SHOPLIFT. COME ON. Just like Banana Republic, another store I won't ever go in again. They thought I was the suspicious one, when I was with ERIN. It's not ******** fair! I don't steal. I don't even CONSIDER it. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a thief. I'm sick of being treated like an idiot, ignored, used, and WHATEVER ELSE. People need to treat me like a ******** human being. I feel so sick right now. I want to get out of here, but there's nowhere to go! I went to the one place and ended up leaving in tears. Straw that breaks the goddamn camel's back. Again.

So good. Maybe I'll sleep today away. Not likely. I didn't fall asleep 'til 3, and my mom woke me before 8 when she called to tell me about the snow. NOT ******** FAIR! (I'm referring both to the occurrence of snow AND the fact that my mom aided in my sleep deprivation). I can't sleep anymore, and I lose a chunk of it due to snow that I CAN'T SEE OR TOUCH OR ANYTHING. I DON'T CARE. GAWD, LET ME SLEEP! So now I'm even more sleep-deprived than usual. And tonight will suck because I won't go to sleep 'til 2 or later AGAIN, and it's not for lack of trying. I went to bed before 11 last night.

And what the ******** happened to my creativity? It was never great, but now it's completely ABSENT. What am I supposed to do when I can't write or draw? Everything's all stuck in my head and ******** it up.