Today was good but I'm kinda depressed right now, but also relieved. I just recently got back from a football game.
I was talking to Jess and Beanz. They really have become two of my best friends. We can talk to each other about anything wether it's serious or just joking around, I love that. I now have two people that I know I can trust.
Today on the busride home, I talked to them about the day I went to the mental facility. About the panic attack, the b***h at the hospital, and my b***h of a roomate. That memory really hit a nerve, I didn't feel like crying when I was talking to them, but now I sort of feel like it. I really happy though, the way they really listened and cared, they didn't try to go all therapist on me, even though Jess likes to do that (and I don't mind when she does it). I feel like I took a whole lot a wieght off my back. I never really had a chance until now to talk to my friends, my real friends, about that. It just sort of been sitting there.
I'm feeling a few different things right now, happy to have talked to Jess and Beanz. Sad and scared of some memories. And very.........very lonely. I know I was just with a bunch of people and stuff but it's a different kind of lonely.
Ever hear the song "Owner of a Lonely Heart".............well, yeah.
I joke around with Beanz and Jess saying, "God I need to get laid...." heh heh, and that's fun. But my hormones are raging like a high death metal band. And it really sucks. And as most of my buds know, I have a thing for guys outside my...................well, age range I guess you could say......And it's not like I can magicaly start liking other people......I just feel so
....damn lonely.
I was talking to Jess and Beanz. They really have become two of my best friends. We can talk to each other about anything wether it's serious or just joking around, I love that. I now have two people that I know I can trust.
Today on the busride home, I talked to them about the day I went to the mental facility. About the panic attack, the b***h at the hospital, and my b***h of a roomate. That memory really hit a nerve, I didn't feel like crying when I was talking to them, but now I sort of feel like it. I really happy though, the way they really listened and cared, they didn't try to go all therapist on me, even though Jess likes to do that (and I don't mind when she does it). I feel like I took a whole lot a wieght off my back. I never really had a chance until now to talk to my friends, my real friends, about that. It just sort of been sitting there.
I'm feeling a few different things right now, happy to have talked to Jess and Beanz. Sad and scared of some memories. And very.........very lonely. I know I was just with a bunch of people and stuff but it's a different kind of lonely.
Ever hear the song "Owner of a Lonely Heart".............well, yeah.
I joke around with Beanz and Jess saying, "God I need to get laid...." heh heh, and that's fun. But my hormones are raging like a high death metal band. And it really sucks. And as most of my buds know, I have a thing for guys outside my...................well, age range I guess you could say......And it's not like I can magicaly start liking other people......I just feel so
....damn lonely.
