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It seems like the one time I decided to get an honors class everybody else decided they wanted AP classes. I think they enjoy being better than me and making me feel like crap.

One person in particular I'm sure tries to tear me down- always bragging about her grades and classes. I'm sure that person will get into exactly the same class and period as Dustin, too. That person will then come to me and start babbling about the conversation she just had with him reminding me that I have no ******** classes with Dustin (And I blame Dustin entirely for that because I just don't understand how he thought I would be okay with what he did)!

And now he has family visiting which is always hard for me because I feel the need to compete for his attention.

Not to mention the million places he'll just HAVE to go to. They'll probably all end up going out to eat tonight and going shopping together......... While I'm all the way in ******** WELAKA!!!!! And of course his family doesn't spare a second thought about me. It's like when I'm not with them I don't exist. Don't they understand that it's hurtful for them to run around all the time without me? And if they do, do they even care?







Dustin, I don't know if I'm getting online or not. I'm gonna go take a nap right now. If you haven't left already, tell your mom to come back and get you or something. Go be with your family in their blissful ignorance of my depression. Go have fun with your cousins- all of which are more pleasant than me and probably aren't bitter and hateful like I am. You can call later on if you want. I hope you have a great afternoon/evening. In fact, I hope you stay out all night long. Because I'm sure that's what your family wants to do and I'm sure that's what you want to do. Talk to you later.





Edit:
I'm sorry if I upset you Dustin. These thoughts are very bitter and pathetic. I hope I can get them under control soon. I really do feel better now, though. I always do after writing things down. I love you so much.