I feel depressed today...my grandfather's 84th birthday, and like a fool I've let it pass by me. He's a good man, and it is ironic that, he being a published author, I start writing a journal on his 84th birthday. :/ Part of me enjoys the irony of it, I guess.
I do not expect wide-spread acclaim for this journal. Nonetheless, I learned in my college English classes that there's always an audience to write to, even if that audience is yourself, so I'm going to write to myself and to anyone who is interested in this journal.
Anyway, back to my grandfather. He was born in Cuba, in the province of Pinar Del Rio. Grew up on a farm, became an accountant with 3 degrees and two CPA licenses, moved to America after Castro took over Cuba, and worked HARD. I envy him...He possesses a work ethic that puts me to shame. I have more commodities than he ever had at my age...and yet I'm so prone to be selfish and miserable. I wish I were more like him. I feel like a lazy slob compared to his diligence.
But he's such a noble man. You couldn't ask for anyone better as a grandfather. He's humorous (seriously, this guy is so corny, you can't help but laugh at him
rolleyes ). He's cheerful, gets along with everyone he meets, greets old friends and new acquaintances with the same big smile.
mrgreen He's easily stirred to joy, compassion, anger, and anxiety. He's intense, and you can always see it in the way his moustache bristles, in the way his eyes spark with passion, and in his wide smile.
I had a chance to go visit him earlier today, to go to lunch for his birthday. and yet...I didn't. Because I was lazy...because I was unwilling to get off my butt and do something for him.
scream God forgive me, I'm beating myself up...I shouldn't do that. As a Christian, I believe in God's enduring daily grace. I love my Grandpa, my abuelo.
This is good. Now I can tell that I am getting a good release of emotional blockage...I feel a little better...yet...I still feel tense inside. It's like there's still something I've not dealt with yet. I don't know what it is.
stressed what is it?
Ohh, yea...that. I know what it is...I can deal with that at another time.
surprised ohhh yea! before I go I should post a picture of my abuelo
sweatdrop here:
Heh, that face
I love it. I couldn't ask for a better Abuelo. One of the big life lessons I learned from him was "You respect me and I'll respect you". It's such an important lesson, and it's one that I admit I've forgotten before. But I'm
learning...one day at a time.
Well, that will do for now. I got all the good stuff and the bad muck out of me
razz now I'm gonna go watch "Bones"
biggrin Thank you, God, for giving my grandfather one more year of life on this earth, for giving me the opportunity to write him a tribute, for the opportunity to clean out my soul, and for this lovely sunset outside my bedroom window ^_^
--Saint Jesse
